Disneyland markets itself as “the happiest place on Earth.” But I made my mother cry when we visited Shanghai Disneyland April this year.
The reason? Miscommunication.
So, what happened?
The day didn’t start well for us. We were ten minutes late leaving the hotel because of some drama I would rather not talk about in this blog. Thankfully, there wasn’t any traffic getting to Shanghai Disneyland.
Not that it mattered. When we got there, the queue to the entrance was already kilometers long – five, according to my brothers’ estimates. That set the tone of the day: standing in line for more than two hours, dealing with the energy of an impatient crowd, and sweating despite the cold Shanghai springtime.
And then, a shocker when we got through the entrance. I thought we were going through Disneyland as a family. I wasn’t informed that we would go our separate ways past the gate – me with my parents as one group, my brothers and their partners and kids as another group.
I panicked. I thought we were going as one group, so I didn’t prepare. I didn’t know how to navigate Disneyland, how to get to the rides, where to eat, what to actually do. I didn’t even download the Disney app until then!
We walked around a bit. Unfortunately, my dad wasn’t big on walking anymore, so he asked us to find him a place where he could hang out and drink coffee. My mom, of course, wanted to explore.
I had a hard time finding an appropriate place to leave Dad. At the same time, Mom was growing impatient. We ended up having a crying and shouting match near the restroom outside Mickey’s Mart.
Mom yelled that Dad and I were ruining her dream to visit Disneyland and see her childhood idol, Mickey Mouse, just so we could have coffee. I yelled back and said I didn’t go to Shanghai for coffee, that I just wanted to leave Dad in a safe place so we could explore together. I said, with all that Aries dramatic flair, “Kailan ko kayo iniwan, Ma?” (“When have I ever left you alone, Ma?”) – emphasizing that we’ve always been buddies, in travel and everything else, and “partners in crime,” so to speak.
My brothers, whom Mom texted in the midst of our argument, showed up to the rescue. They calmed us down and found Dad a safe spot to hang out. Then they got us to tag along with them and the rest of the family.
With Mom being who she is and me being who I am, we can’t really stay mad at each other. But I tried my best to make up for the lost hours. We got on the Pirates of the Caribbean and Crystal Cave rides, walked around the Enchanted Castle, and just walked. I’m not fond of selfies and taking pictures, but I took every opportunity to take her pictures and posed for pics whenever she told me to.
The day ended up better than it began. But I swore never to repeat the mistakes I made that day. I rarely see my mother cry. To see her cry at Disneyland, her dream place, nearly broke me. I don’t want to see her like that or feel that way again.
What lessons did I learn?
This whole fiasco happened because of failure in communication on my part. Specifically, here are the lessons I learned:
1. Come prepared.
I wasn’t involved in arranging the Shanghai trip. My sister-in-law and my brother’s partner booked the flights and hotel accommodations, scheduled the visa appointments, the whole shebang. All I needed to do was pack my bags, get on the plane with my parents, and meet with the rest of the family at the hotel in Shanghai.
I should have done my own research and learned what to expect on a day in Disneyland. Heck, I should have downloaded the Disney app before leaving home. That way, I could have studied how to navigate that ginormous park, seen what rides were appropriate for my senior-citizen parents, and avoided the stress that happened that day.
2. Never assume.
A lot of the drama that day in Disneyland would have been avoided if I didn’t assume that we were going as one group. I should have anticipated that my brothers would want to spend the excursion with their own nuclear families, without the extended members tagging along. Again, I should have done my own research and preparations.
3. Ask.
I should have asked my parents what they wanted to get out of that day. I knew that my mom loved Mickey Mouse, and my brothers made this part of the Shanghai trip happen for her. I should have been more sensitive to her feelings and desires. Same with my dad – I knew he didn’t like walking that much anymore, so I should have anticipated that he’d want to just stay where he could have as much coffee and food as he wanted. And, again, I should have asked my brothers their plans so I could align.
Last I heard, my brothers are preparing for another overseas trip, this time to Tokyo. Maybe Tokyo Disneyland is one of the stops. If it is, I’ll do my best to make reparations and not to make my mother cry at another Disney property again.
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