About a Boy

Last year, I said the year 2014 was the best year of my life yet, and one of the reasons is an old flame came back to my life. I didn’t feel up to telling our story last year because I believed this old flame deserves more than a paragraph in a blog post. Today, it’s time to tell the story.

Some thirteen years ago, a few years before I embarked on my freelance writing career, I worked as an executive assistant in a microfinancing NGO. There I met a boy named Arthur. I guess I was attracted to him at first sight, and apparently so was he. After a brief courtship and a bit of pushing by friends, we became a couple a month after I started working at the NGO.

Early on in this relationship, we both knew we wanted to marry. We began making wedding plans. We started looking for an apartment we could rent that’s close to our work. We even took to calling each other “Ma” and “Dad,” as if we already had children who called us that.

But no matter how much we plan for something we want to happen, some things just aren’t meant to be. Or they happen in their own time. It wasn’t the right time for us. He was busy with work and often away on some business trip. As for me, I developed new priorities that didn’t include him. It came to the point when we’d see each other once every one or two months and didn’t talk in between. When we did meet, we usually ended up arguing because we didn’t see each other enough and I felt lonely and neglected. So, after nearly four years of being together, I called it quits and ceased all contact with him.

After I left Arthur, I began work as a freelance writer. I met the man I now call the Ex; we made plans for me to fly to the US so we could be together. Alas, that too didn’t pan out – the eight years I spent with the Ex only ended in heartbreak. The disappointment was too much for me that I decided to forget about marriage, enjoy my singlehood, go on casual dates without expectations, and remain a doting aunt to my nephew Andrei and my niece Adeline.

I guess that way of life wasn’t meant for me, either. It was at this point that Arthur walked into my life once again. Out of the blue I got a message from him on Facebook a few months after the Ex and I broke up. I didn’t want to respond at first because our relationship ended so badly and I didn’t really want to relive those painful days. But curiosity got the better of me, and I thought eight years was long enough to forgive and forget. So I accepted his invitation to dinner. Dinner led to weekly coffee dates and bible study at Starbucks, and those weekly meetings led to a rekindling of feelings I thought were long dead.

A year and six months after his first Facebook message, we got married. Yesterday, we marked our second month as a wedded couple. It wasn’t easy, but marriage wasn’t meant to be easy, and we’re still in our adjustment phase. However, we’re both happy and feeling blessed, marveling at how fate has brought us back together after eight years of living separate lives. Our marriage requires work, but it’s work we both find joy in doing.

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Anna Sibal-Gonzaga is a freelance writer based in the Philippines. She likes reading books and watching movies and TV shows in the sci-fi, fantasy and historical genres. She is also a casual gamer and an all-around nerd.

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